You can get the low-poly grapes from FFXIV IRL, and they’re squishy

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One of the most devastating moments of my final fantasy XIV career was when Square Enix fixed Endwalker’s low-poly grapes. Sure, I probably should have cried over the overall story, but the MMORPG’s juicy little cubes of grape goodness meant more to me than the lives of my fellow Scions and, indeed, all of Eorzea. So when I heard that FFXIV’s low-poly grapes are back, and they’re real, Almost cry.

If you attend the sold-out FFXIV Fan Fest in Las Vegas, you’ll be treated to a goody bag that I’m honestly beyond jealous of. There’s a gray crossbody bag with an adorable Moogle and FFXIV 10th anniversary logo, a carrot-shaped Loporrit pen, a Grebuloff magnet, an Azem crystal keyring, and an awesome 10th anniversary pin.

But that is not all; in fact, that’s not even the best part. Accompanying all of these treats is a bunch of soft, low-poly grapes. Yeah, I’m serious, you’ll get mushy grapes for attending the FFXIV fanfest.

“Relieve any lingering stress after hours of ‘farm parties’ with these truly remarkable Endwalker Crush Grapes,” reads the official description. “If you’re ever feeling a little low resolution, just grab your crushable grapes and remember what once was.”

I consider myself a relatively easy-to-please human being; there is nothing that I need in life, but let me tell you, I need those grapes. Luckily I managed to get tickets to the FFXIV London Fan Fest through the lottery system, so I’m crossing my fingers and toes that the same goodie bag is available there.

It’s worth noting that these items are included in your ticket price, so you’ll need to “check in to the show” to receive them. They won’t be sent to you, so be sure to follow the instructions and claim them. Don’t let those grapes go to waste!

While FFXIV’s low poly grapes were fixed many moons ago, you can channel your inner grape farmer with our FFXIV Island Sanctuary guide, although you can’t grow low poly grapes, trust me I’ve tried. However, if breeding animals is more your thing, we also have a list of FFXIV Island Sanctuary animals to help you out.

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